From Boyfriend Jeans to Skinny Jeans!!Love Yourself Anyways
I woke up a couple of weeks ago and decided to dig through my closet and see what old jeans I had floating around. I found a pair of old boyfriend jeans from 2014 that were once pretty baggy on me. I decided to put them on, only to find out that they were no longer boyfriend jeans. They had in fact became skinny jeans. I could have had any reaction, ranging from sobbing on my bedroom floor to throwing them out in the trash along with my self-confidence, but instead I took the radical self-love approach. I said to myself, “Meh, I guess now I don’t need to buy new skinny jeans.”
I’ve been a health conscious person for the majority of my adult years. I was plant-based for nearly eight of those years, and I’ve been practicing yoga regularly since 2012. I learned the importance of practicing self-love, I think, in part as a result of my yoga journey. I felt confident in my skin. I thought I had a handle on living the holistic lifestyle, until October 2017 happened and I experienced something very traumatic that flipped my entire world upside down. This experience caused self-doubt, discomfort in my own body, and with that my self-esteem hit a new low. I went from 110 lbs to 100 lbs in less than a week, which I attribute to stress and anxiety. I am now 20 lbs heavier than I was originally, and I’ve got to say I love myself more than I ever have in my life. I have spent about a year and a half on a rollercoaster of self-healing with the use of plant medicine and shamanic healing, meditation, and exercise. Through this journey I’ve learned some very important lessons about self-love and body image. Although some of these lessons were painful, they gave me some of the greatest gifts of my life—and I’d love to share them with you with the hope that they bring clarity to your life.
We live in a culture of instant gratification, glorifying pornography, Instagram models, and filling body parts with hyaluronic acid fillers and Botox. We live in a society that for the most part still discourages the natural aging process, fine lines, and cellulite. During my healing process, it was difficult for me to not feel some level of pressure or even shame surrounding my body image, and the fact that I have chosen to keep things aux naturel and not enhance my appearance. But I made a commitment to myself not to change my appearance on someone else’s terms.
One of the biggest gifts I took from experiencing and healing from body-related trauma was learning how to step into my truth and life’s purpose. I decided to sign up for yoga teacher training and from this experience, a new me was born.
Of the many gifts I received from experiencing a body-related trauma, radical self-love was by far the biggest one. I had to learn that nobody outside of myself has the capacity to meet all of my expectations or needs, and so I dove into the ultimate depths of unconditional self love, support, and actualization.
Another gift was realizing the importance of living life on your own terms. If I could give any advice to anyone who needs it, it would be: Don’t look outside of yourself for validation. Some people will chew you up with their opinions and judgments, so learn how to listen to your own heart and soul instead of that noise outside of you. NONE of that noise matters. All you need to focus on is how much of a beautiful badass you are, and how you can positively impact the world in your own unique way!
Finally, I received the gift of awareness and appreciation for my body, heart, and soul.
During all of this time, my brother was in a near-fatal car accident and was in a coma for two weeks afterwards. I was beside myself, but it really put everything into perspective. I realized on such a DEEP level that it honestly doesn’t matter what we look like. Wearing designer clothes, whether we have a big bum or a little bum, how big our hips, breasts, or how thin our waist is—none of that matters at the end of the day.
I think that we often miss the point of living because of all of that noise telling us that we’re not enough as we are. What we can and should focus on, perhaps, is having gratitude for the little things. I mean, the really little things, like the ability to simply breathe, the ability to think, the ability to see and hear if we are so blessed—the ability to hold a glass of water and drink it without assistance.
These are the small things that make life so miraculous, and yet most of us take these things for granted every single day.
I am a self-love coach and intuitive healer, and I also fell into the unique experience of working in the medical spa industry on the side. It’s not something I ever thought I’d do, nor is it my calling by any means—in fact, it is very much in the opposite direction of my core values. However, it has opened my eyes to just how many men and women walk around feeling as though they aren’t good enough in the skin they’re in.
In both my healing work and my position in the beauty industry, I get to hear everyone’s “dirty secrets.”
“My husband thinks I’m too fat and says he’ll leave if I don’t lose weight.”
“I hate my body.”
“Do you offer penis dermal fillers? My penis is too small.”
Yeah—I hear these things. More often than I’d like to. You see, I’ve managed to work through my struggles with embodiment because I chose to tune out the noise of the world and love myself regardless of what I look like. Despite gaining 20 lbs. Despite having cellulite. Despite not having tanned skin. My only hope is that if you’re reading this, you’ll carry these words with you: You are perfect the way you are now. You do not need to change your appearance to make others around you “comfortable.” You do not need to change your appearance to become more “acceptable.” Love starts from within, and so does confidence. It will be a work in progress, but give yourself the gift of loving yourself today. And if you woke up this morning only to find that your boyfriend jeans have become skinny jeans, take a moment to breathe and know that there is nothing wrong with you and you are perfect the way you are.
About Candice Klein @candicekleintarot With a background in philosophy and education, Candice has developed her own intuitive abilities to connect and align with her soul's highest purpose. She is a self-love and relationship coach, a yoga teacher, a reiki healer, a nature lover, and on a mission to empower everyone to find and nurture healthy relationships with others and themselves. Catch her online at https://candiceklein.com/